originally posted: November 5, 2023

I want to hurt your feelings with some truth: Bitches LOVE attention.

Does it read sexist to say bitches love attention? GOOD. I’m not sorry for my word choice and I wont debate semantics with people who can’t comprehend the intricacies and nuances of language.

If you can’t get past my tone, then my words aren’t for you. Go read something else.

But back to the bitches. They love attention.

BOSS BITCHES especially love attention.

It’s why they work for themselves. Because they weren’t getting enough attention in the ways they wanted when they worked for other people. See, what it takes to be a real boss bitch is next-level confidence in your skills, and enough self-respect to know that you deserve to be in charge of your destiny. Boss bitches love the attention that listens to them and follows directions.

I’m something of a “boss” bitch myself and I adore attention.

I love when I get attention that’s personalized; when it’s devoted, committed, adoring, and above all adhering and COMPLIANT to my ego. I love when someone gives me exactly the kind of attention that feeds my truest sense of self.

Yes, tell me I’m so clever, smart, helpful, and talented. Say “THANK YOU!” emphatically when deliver a favorable outcome.

Whether I design your website, or solve a technical issue, explain a complex concept, or consistently communicate with you and diligently dedicate my time toward helping you achieving your goals…

I’m going to need you to affirm and validate my efforts with sincerity.

And above all, show me through your own actions that you fucking comprehended what I’ve taught you.

If a client is unable to maintain the level or quality of output that I gave them – while also managing other clients – then I’ve failed them. If they didn’t pick up any of the directions or knowledge I shared over a months-long contract they’ve failed me as well. I thought I was working with a serious person who wanted to do important work.

The whole time I was having weekly zooms with a pretend boss bitch who just wanted attention.

There are lots of pretend boss bitches online who just want attention for attention’s sake.

They have zero follow up. They have zero business plan, and zero confidence in their ability because they’re terrified of actually trying anything on their own.

These are the broads who desperately seek to hire 3, 4, 5, or more professional services in order to develop their business. They don’t know what they’re doing, and somehow the task of using Google to learn anything baffles them. They can barely focus long enough to produce one piece of useable content within 7 days.

But they crave the attention and energy of experienced real-life boss bitches to turn them into something they’re simply not.

These fake boss bitches are codependent to the max. They just want someone to talk to. They want to pretend they’re doing something but they aint got the stamina or resilience to hold the line and deliver tangible results. They’re just in it for the likes.

“Attention” vs. Affirming & Empowering Encouragement

Attention on its own is cheap, easy, and empty. Attention is hot air. It’s cotton candy. Telling me I’m pretty or smart is a given. I know I am!

But telling me that you actually implemented my advice and experienced a gain from it – that’s empowering for me. To know that I gave you knowledge THAT YOU USED to achieve a goal is affirmative for me.

So if I give you something valuable that benefits you, I want to be affirmed for that. If I empowered you with my attention and dedication, I want you to match and return that energy. I want us to engage in a mutually beneficial, reciprocal positive energy loop. that supersedes just talking about things.

If I make you feel good about yourself because I wrote a strong bio, or helped you edit your writing, or I improved your shitty atrocious graphics, then I want you take the baton and sprint toward your goals.

I want us to both show up at the same frequency, with the same intensity to produce actioned results. I want you to keep the momentum. I don’t want you to expect me to carry the entire weight and responsibility of making your work better. If I teach you to fish I want you to show me your fucking CATCH.

The kind of affirmation and empowerment I’m interested in means more than just saying “so true, bestie.” Being empowered means you’re moved to DO the things you say you agree with, that you claim to understand. We affirm others best through our actions.

Affirming & Empowering Business Owners

Side-note for people who don’t plug their friends or peers: You’re trash.

For business owners, double taps on Instagram, and simple reposts aren’t the same as endorsements or sales.

Of course, more likes can increase exposure. And more exposure increases the odds that our perfect buyers will find us. But if you want to show a business owner that you believe in them then send a testimonial. Record a short video for your story and tag them. Repost their content BUT ADD your own personal take.

Affirm their efforts. Empower them with matching energy that says, “I see you!”

Do you want attention, or do you want empowerment & growth?

I talk blunt and mean on purpose. I DO NOT want to work with sensitive softies. I want wo work with the opposite of soft people. I want to work with tough cookies who have blistering clear vision. I want to work with people who have focus and passion, who know exactly which services they need to achieve their goals (because they already know what their goals are).

I don’t want to figuratively hold hands with adults, while gently explaining to them that they’ve willfully missed the point again, or that they’re self-sabotaging months of our work. Because in my experience people who self-sabotage get really hurt when you try to stop them from undermining their own progress.

I don’t need attention.

Sure, I like it enough. Sure I want people who I admire and respect to admire and respect me as well. But more than attention, I need purpose, results, constant inspiration, and stimulation. I need the validation that I’m doing my life’s work by actually empowering and motivating others toward achieving their purpose. I need to experience the mutually beneficial, reciprocal positive energy loop, where I can see the growth and results my clients get from what I’ve done for them.

Show & Prove

“You’re absolutely right.”

“I hear you.”

These were two repetitive phrases from two former clients who consistently resisted doing the one thing they needed to in order to elevate their projects. I’d worked with both for 6+ months on their writing and to this day, as I periodically visit their blogs, both of them have completely abandoned everything I tried to teach them.

But God, they loved to get on a zoom or phone call and just talk talk talk talk talk my ear off. When it came time to listen, to absorb my advice, my expertise, and writing experience and put it into practice, they both buckled.

And when I called them out on not putting in the work they both blocked me.

I gave these people months of my life, hours of my time and work, endless guidance, support, and understanding. But when they needed to become super serious and elevate their own projects they rejected the exact intensity they hired me for.

Because they were never in it to win it. They saw me as someone very capable of producing results, and getting attention – which I am – and they wanted me to do it all for them. Neither had any intention of improving their own work, and establishing strong, lasting businesses.

They just wanted attention. As most bitches do.

Softies can be inspiring.

They remind me what I don’t want to become. They’ve inspired so much contemplation about my future, and the direction I want to take my business. Both my failed writing clients successfully crushed my ego by proving to me that I cannot in fact teach others. Hard truths, but big girls can handle it.

They both propelled me to change my entire approach, to become MORE DIRECT, more BLUNT and dramatically less accommodating.

Now, I’m even more focused and intent on performing actions, and producing results. I don’t want attention. I don’t want to chit-chat with you about anything. I want to plan and execute. I want challenges and work. I want to create and express.

How the rest of the bitches take it is on them.

If this piece didn’t hurt your feelings, leave a comment and let me know!

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